How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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