Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
