Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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