Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
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