Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
