I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
