Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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