I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
