You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
