am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
