I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
