i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize