She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
