i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize