I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
