I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize