Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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