Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
