dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
