Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
