you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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