you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
