My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
