Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
