I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
