At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
