More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
