omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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