I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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