New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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