She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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