who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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