I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
