what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Randomize
