so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
40s are totally the cure
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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