I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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