i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
