i wish there were pregnant emoticons
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
