called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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