awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
