Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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