haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
