Moan for me like Helen Keller
I skipped work to stalk him.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize