dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
