we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
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