I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
