I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
