Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize