I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He passed out mid-signature
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Alive.
So much puke
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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