Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
