we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
