grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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