no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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