I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
