I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
