Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
