NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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