Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize