we made out on top of his cat.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
