I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
