There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
