She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
