So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
