My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
