Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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