ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
