you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
