Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
