Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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