At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
