Plan B is the new Plan A
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Sorry about my life...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
