Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
