I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
